Regardless of how rich the matching algorithms are, they will always draw upon the “popularity” of searches as being the seed to the process and so although much of the individual search-term statistics are assceible through Google Trends, the presentation of suggested terms related to the statistics from these searches are not.

Why is this important?

Well with Google Suggest you need only type the initial segment and the feature will return the possible matches  based on the popularity, i.e. what people eventually wanted to search for in the first place had they bothered to type the whole thing.

Below are two interesting screen-caps of a comparison of the suggestions made by Google based on actual statistics and consequently in turn a reflection of public interest in the matters.

The presentation is made possible using HINT.FM: Web Seer, go and give it a shot.

will Israel vs will Palestine

does Israel vs dos Palestine

Three cats by Ferran

There is rivalry everywhere.

You can’t rival yourself, at least one other party must be involved for a rivalry to exist.

Rivalry is a competition to see who is better, it is ongoing and does not end.

But to be rivals, you have to agree that you are equal; in that you are all as likely to win as each other, for there can be no rivalry if there is no reciprocal return of rival feelings.

And there are no rival feelings if there is no competition; after all what would rivalry really amount to if there was always a clear cut winner?

Confessions by Peter Henry Emerson

We’re all self proclaimed heroes of loading the dishwasher; I’m certainly the finest of them all.

As with all heros, there is a certain flare of personal struggle, those one or two items that we know will never make it as part of this load.

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Its essential to note that this oft misunderstood element of punctuation evident in almost every language means so much more.

When you see it, make a full stop. That hurtling coal fired train that is your vision needs to stop reading for a moment.

And in this moment. Rapidly digest what has just been read and then superimpose it onto what you’ve you’re you’ve about to read.

The recursive train you just experienced has corrected itself.

The world isn’t perfect.

The space in your mind is infinite, a small shooting star in the distance is transversing your train of thought, its colours tightly packed in its core and suddenly it strikes a shapeless, immovable object.

The object does not exhibit any particular fathomable physical characteristics, the star doesn’t explode on impact, it fragments.

The fragments arch and deflect, hurtling at speeds. Unimaginable. Instantaneous. The fragments travel a short distance before they blossom into a myrad of oranges, purples, lemon greens, reds and yellows and are rapidly becoming focused and illuminated in the mind.

The dust trails of the fragments are bathed in the rich glow emanating from the nearby thoughts, mingling and manipulating their composition, sparks are given off as reactions between these individual curions fuse.

As more and more curions fuze, the colours swell and blend with one another until they create a planet in your mind, the planet is entirely gaseous, composed of memory, opinion and subjective thought, its borders undefined. A warm centre carries the pulsating glow that is the inexplicable essence of the original idea, now consumed, digested and envisioned within the eye of the mind.

Bask in its beauty, for it will be here forever.

These are apples, photo by msr

I just took a fat cold apple hit, edible pipe at 79c a pound, can’t beat it.

Relative to how much I would eat out of it had it not had ash in it about 75% of the residual pipe is consumed.

Compared with the industry average of most of the pipes available on market, my apple pipe blows them out of the water and into a pile of shit.

Some of our nuttiest clients however, having thought that some of that delicious herb leeches into the flesh of the apple, will eat the whole thing, as a company we cannot encourage such behaviour, nor do we or the individuals who eat these apples have any scientific evidence as to how effective these methods are there are some researchers involved however somewhere in the bowls of the American Food and Drug Administration who are looking into this, but due to government regulations regarding the consumption of these substances during testing, there have been debates as to how accurate the results from monkeys actually are.

An undisclosed source in an article published in the July issue of The Scientific American states that the monkeys were tested only by being fed apples that had previously been used to smoke out of; though there has been some difficulty in getting the monkeys to eat the apples.

The difficulty in getting them to eat the apples is also evident in getting them to not fight over apples when they are fed regular granny smith apples as part of their diet as set by the monkey dietary board, there has also been speculation by other research facilities across the United States concerning a phenomena where the monkey will not stop eating these apples.

The facilities seem to be split down the middle as to the reasons as to why this happens.

On the one hand you have those that believe that that the monkey is intoxicated and is undergoing polyphagia – a state of increased appetite- commonly known by those who smoke as “munchies” and on the other hand you have those who believe that the monkey is consuming the apples because he likes apples and does not know better because he is a fucking monkey.

It has not always been this easy, researching the effects of smoking and eating of apples that have been used to smoke out of as the problem of getting the monkeys to eat the apples used to be a much bigger one.

My colleague Kevin Nivek from King William’s Town reported the following,

“When the program was first started in the military sometime during the cold war; though there were no rules regarding testing on humans, the United States military had problems finding a suitable source for the apples, so until they could find a hook up the military hired two dozen of the country’s top scientists (yeah scientists, they do science, nothing specific, it’s all science really right?) on sabbatical from their highly lucrative positions from prestigious universities and had them collect apples from the across the nation.

This era, known in the ranks as “The Picking Era”, Gen. Chief Feich recalls “we called it the apple picking era, because it was much like picking apples from trees, but it was from dumpsters in suburban neighbourhoods. Though that was such a long time ago, I had just been called in for the draft at the time, but now that the program has been running for so long, we could probably just call that time “the picking season” instead.”

Gen. Chief continues on throughout this interview to explain how this method came to be discontinued.

After doing some research speaking to lots of important people, I finally came across a memo from a long time ago from like, the time the program was being discontinued which seemed to be a purely administrative article at first glance.

So at first glance, I did just that.

I placed it in the useless shit pile, but when I had run out of silly manila folders full of napkins to go through

I went back through the notes on this controversial military research program.

The second time I read the administrative memo I figured out why the trail had gone cold.

The memo was the last piece of paper to ever hold the official seal of the military

because on that day, as would have been immediately obvious had I read the memo the first time, November 21, 1963, the program was transferred from military to federal control by presidential decree.

Not only did it explain that the program was transferred, but it also detailed that under the federal administration they would no longer need the military’s budget to pay for the apple picking scientists because the FDA equivalent at the time had found a way to smoke the apples themselves.

Not much is known about how they smoke the apples, some say that after many years of outsourcing the smoked out apples from a discreet retailer, they now have a hook-up for both the apples and the marijuana.

It’s difficult to say how much more money this is going to cost the taxpayers over the course of the next few years, but it’s important to note that its important research and that really important progress is being made important.

When questioned regarding how the results of the program were looking; a representative from a research facility run by the Canadian government in Montreal said “this shit is looking real good.”

Despite being pressed for more details, he explained in his own words that he either didn’t have the permission or the words to elaborate further; my memory was rather fuzzy at the time.
Whether this is some kind of cover up or signs of legitimate progress we don’t know, however be sure to remember this when we go to the polls on Sunday.

This is a fine evening, a fresh start and a new beginning.

Welcome.